Series: KIKI, DO YOU LOVE ME?
FROM BOYS TO MEN!
Ephesians 5:33; Ephesians 5:21-23; I Peter 3:6
Today, as we continue our series, we will highlight two (2) basic God-ordained needs. Understanding and meeting these needs are the keys to understanding both yourself and how to communicate effectively with persons of your opposite gender.
Generally speaking, women tend to communicate through the lens of their emotions. Similarly, men, on the other hand, tend to communicate through the lens of their egos. Failing to understand and appreciate this distinction can result in unnecessary futile and failed communications between husbands and wives, sisters and brothers, mothers and sons, etc.
Ephesians 5:33 states: men should LOVE their wives and wives should RESPECT their husbands. Love is to emotion (women) as respect is to ego (men). Today’s message will focus on men and their egos. Next time, we will focus on women and their emotions.
EGOS AND EMOTIONS – EPHESIANS 5:33
- Just because males do not show emotions doesn’t mean they do not have emotions.
- American males are socialized to emote anger, not sadness. Social conditioning is a key factor in shaping emotions.
- Suppressing emotions can cause physical and psychological effects.
- While males communicate through their egos, emotional droughts can cause dis-ease within a male.
- The word “ego” comes from the Latin word which means “I.”
- The male’s ego provides the structure for his purpose in the world and his feelings of competency.
- The male’s ego is fragile. The male’s ego is also the female’s gateway to his head and heart.
UNDERSTAND THE EGO – 2 SAMUEL 6:21-22
- During a male’s first six years, he is attached very closely to his mother. During this season of a male’s life, his self-esteem comes from his mother.
- Children want and need unconditional love from their parents, especially the mother, even when the children act like they hate their parents!
- At this juncture, the male is trying to live up to his mother’s ideas of him.
- This dynamic forms a part of his heart that is extremely vulnerable to a woman’s criticism and barbs. This part of his heart is with him for life!
- Once that part of a man’s heart is wounded by a woman, his capacity to love that woman is impacted.
HONOR THE EGO ¾ I peter 3:6
- Lord –>kurios –> polite, socially acceptable title –> Sir
- Option 1: Wives are commanded by God to honor their husbands by calling them “lord.” Genesis 18:12
- Option 2: Sarah spoke “lord” in her mind as a sign of inner respect for her husband.
FOLLOW THE EGO – EPHESIANS 5:21-23
- In this case, “submit” means the wife is to honor her husband.
- Submit means the wife believes her husband is on a mission from God to help her find and fulfill her Godly mission or purpose.
- Submit also means that the wife recognizes that God has placed her husband in her life to protect and provide for her. The husband is a guide and a shield.
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